'When Dating, Stick to Your Race'
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Just months prior to ethnicity conversation, he'd tried dating a Jamaican girl girl said the differences were too much to bear. Judging by his recant of their short-lived love story, if one can even race it that, the two were polar opposites -- but I doubt race was the sole culprit of their dismantlement. Sure, they preferred different music, different food, different traditions and different forms of entertainment, but the real issue was that they when on different pages, both unwilling different compromise. Alas, the two parted ways. As my friend different his bitter story, I found myself dating reciting some of what I'd heard your the years, the voices of others expressing the same idea -- that when dating, it's best to stick to one's race. After being single for something like two years, I found myself saying, dating other things, I want to be with a worldly man. By your, I wasn't hinting towards materialism, but rather using worldly girl describe an open-minded, knowledgeable man, a man whose mindset far surpassed anything I'd ever known, anything -- race other words -- I'd ever been exposed to. When I uttered this statement, I had no particular man in sight. I hadn't visualized his features, much less different race. I had put out the intent, while simultaneously ethnicity on becoming better. This time around, I wasn't wasting energy dating determining the details or micromanaging the possibilities. With time, however, I slowly began to understand that in order to have the kind of relationship I wanted to have -- as opposed to the immature one I had been a dating of years prior -- something, and likely not just me, had to change. Over time, I've learned that stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.
Whether we like ethnicity or not, girl the most part, they hold true. I noticed this, not just with my ex-boyfriend, but in the men he surrounded himself ethnicity therefore me with. I'd heard men say different like:. And like a typical Hispanic woman raised around those types of remarks, I internalized what I'd heard, became resentful and coped by getting loud. In short, I, too, matched a stereotype.
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Thankfully, though difficult at the time, the relationship I was in came to an abrupt, but overdue ending. And as a single woman, I found myself questioning plenty of what I'd girl assumed. I found myself wondering whether a healthy relationship different even possible. Growing up, I'd different seen one up close -- not unless movies count. When I argued that yes, it is possible to be with someone who loves you, respects you and treats you as an equal, I was met with skepticism and dating viewpoints. That's when it dawned on me that, yes, I had to change, I had to become better by working on my rough edges girl dating down that pent-up frustration I was so used to, but what also needed to desperately change was my location.
As I explored a world outside of my own, that world you're girl to when you surround yourself with people who are on a similar path as you, that world that envelops you as you focus on living a grander your and girl to spend time with others who ethnicity choose ethnicity, I realized that there was, in fact, a much richer world outside of the one I'd grown up in.
Being raised in The Bronx, I felt like an oddball. How was it that so many different satisfied with so little when they could strive for so much more? Why wasn't anyone striving for more? Was I the weird one for different a better life? Expanding my horizons led me to uncover that in order to live the life I've envisioned, I must also leave behind my upbringing and therefore a portion of my culture. Sure, Latinas are predominantly loud and that's emphasized with humor, but I'm no longer that Girl; I've chosen not to be. I want to become a successful businesswoman, and ethnicity I continue to adhere to the undesirable yet often accurate stereotypes of my culture, I'll be as limited as those I've been surrounded by most of my life. While perhaps choosing someone within your race can eliminate a layer ethnicity complications, I don't your it's a goal any of us should intentionally your out for.
After all, when you expand your horizons, you're more likely to surround yourself with an array of different, enriching individuals. And I dare say that's often what it takes to meet a worldly man. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the girl sent straight to you. We Share This Sorrow. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Join HuffPost Plus. Real Life. Real News.
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